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S O C I E T A S    M A C H I N A R V M
About the Society of Engineers

If your objection to being called a "callous, evil-hearted bastard" is that your patrilineage is perfectly legitimate, welcome! You have, in your drunken Internet stumblings, alighted upon the public website of the world's most elusive of secret societies: Societas Machinarum. Our goals are well beyond your comprehension, especially considering the state you're in. but we can briefly summarize them here.

We are a highly exclusive cabal of antisocial engineers dedicated to restoring Jeb! Bush to his rightful Throne in Vatican City; or at least we started out that way. None of us expected that we would succeed so completely. Having learned how easy it is to manipulate you people on a global scale we have turned our energies to more challenging pursuits, like convincing the world that hiding your face behind a cloth muzzle will prevent the common cold, or that the natural seasonal cycle of weather will kill us all if we don't hand over our wealth to a pederastic aristocracy. Fluoride in the drinking water? That was us too. You can see the effects yourself.

 [ Bold Words for someone 47 miles away ]

 [ S O C I E T A S  M A C H I N A R V M ]

Membership in the Society itself is restricted to a villainous (if incredibly elegant) handful of international malcontents. We do however offer certain perquisites to those whose efforts in the world we would like to see flourish. If you believe you have a cause, philosophy, thesis, art project, organization or civilization that could benefit from our assistance and isn't stupid1, let us know. Maybe we can work out a fair exchange.

1We define stupid.

Our Privacy Policy

On a public network, you have none.

If you're going to decide what to share with us based on what we tell you we're going to do with your information, you should invest in our Royal Bank of Nigeria Foreign Investment Capital Group right away. Send us your account information and SSN before this incredible offer expires!